Once considered to be the sole domain of the gay community, prostate massaging has gone a lot more mainstream of late, and can now be considered to be a part of any healthy sex life for any couple, or even for single entertainment. The act of getting a guy squirming by gently fingering – or using a toy – on his prostate can get things going really quickly, but like oral, it needs to be done with finesse to not only give him the most out of it, but also make sure that it doesn’t end too soon.
The prostate gland occurs only in men and lies underneath the bladder, surrounding the urethra, which carries urine out of the body. The gland itself produces a thick, white fluid that gets mixed with sperm to create semen, and is highly sensitive to touch, and it is that sensitivity that makes it so much fun. It can be felt through the wall of your butt, but needs to be handled gently to make the fun fulfilling, and we will teach you how to give and receive a massage that will blow your world away!
Because the prostate isn’t too far inside the rectum, getting access to this cute little bundle of love is pretty easy, regardless of whether you are using a finger or a specially designed toy, but whatever means you use, it’s probably best to clean up a bit before rummaging around at the back. An anal douche can be part of the whole experience, particularly if the massaging is being carried out as part of a BDSM, but however its being performed (even just by yourself) it’s always a better experience with a clean butt. So, let’s clean up and get ready for the ride of your life!!
Getting Started. While there is nothing wrong at all with an impromptu prostate massage, having a finger or toy inserted in your butt unexpectedly can be surprising to say the least, so a bit of preparation goes a long way. In fact, if the massage is being performed with a restrained subject, preparation and anticipation is half of the fun.
Obviously, unlike a vagina, the butt isn’t self-lubricating, so a good squeeze of lub is essential to help slide in, well, whatever you plan on using. As with any insertion, you should pick your lub, and choose carefully from water. Silicone, or oil-based products. Water based are not as resilient as the others and need apply frequently but can be used with fingers, silicone toys or even cucumbers if you like. Silicone based lubs are slick, but shouldn’t be used with silicone toys as they can affect the surface, though are good to go with fingers or vegetables. Oil based lubs are the smoothest, but don’t work well with toys (as well as making your cucumbers taste funny).
Tend to your fingers. Basically, that means cut your nails and give your fingers a good scrub to remove any grit and debris from your nicely trimmed digits. Obviously less of an issue if you intend using a toy, but adaptation is one of the wonders of sex, so trim the nails, just in case.
Assume the position. Easy entry is essential, so prostate massaging is best received with his legs raised and well back, exposing the rectum for inspection and play. If the massaging is being done as part of a BDSM ritual, you might want to consider tying his legs back for increased domination.
Relax. Of course, the whole of recreational sex is about relaxation but it becomes even more important when it comes to manipulating a prostate. For a start, it is going to involve something – be it a finger or something else – being inserted in your butt and that is never going to be successful if you are tense. So, relax, get into the moment, and look forward to some new sensations. Take deep breaths and settle back because a relaxed anal sphincter is a happy one too, as well as one that is easier to penetrate. Balance relaxed against turned on as hell, since this will not only will that make it better emotionally, it’ll increase blood flow to his genital area and make the whole experience exciting.
Fingers. Try going with your index finger as it is usually the most dextrous and sensitive finger of the hand, though not the longest, however since length isn’t an issue with prostate massaging, the index finger is usually good.
Locating the Source of fun. The prostate is located just north of the sphincter towards the front of the body. If you push your lubed finger through the sphincter, slowly start to work up along the smooth wall of the rectum until you get to raised, firm area on the front wall which is more textured than the surrounding tissue. If you can find that, you then need to check that you are in the right place by apply a small pressure. If he shudders and stiffens, you have the right spot. Be warned though, if your man is not expecting it or inexperienced, he may well just shoot a load there and then, such is the power of the prostate. Don’t feel around too much and certainly don’t use fingernails. Keep gently stroking while paying attention to his breathing rate – it will start to rise as he becomes aroused and explosive as he cums!
Dildos. Prostate massaging is well catered for by dildo manufactures, and there is a huge array of specialist prostate massage toys on the market. Unlike vaginal dildos, prostate massagers tend to be smaller, slimmer and have a curve that makes them a natural shape to be able to apply pressure on the prostate. They also tend to have a softer feel silicone touch to maximise a soft touch with a firm pressure that makes prostate massaging so much fun. Like regular dildos, anal massagers can also come equipped with vibrating heads to add an extra dimension to the pleasure. Like butt plugs, anal probes and prostate massages tend to come with a moulded on flared end to prevent them being fully inserted and effectively lost in the deep of your man’s ass.
The latest generation of anal massagers are much more designed than their predecessors and have been formed to hit the spot every time, so once inserted, they naturally lie in the right place and just small movements are required to get the desired effect. When that is added to variable-speed vibrations, these are devices that are guaranteed to deliver pleasure every time.
Specialist dildos aside, some men actually prefer to have their prostate massaged using a butt plug since they fit all the criteria and are designed to fit snuggly in the anus. All it takes are small backward and forward movements to make it a source of excitement when slid against your man’s prostate. Similarly, anal beads drawn slowly back and forth can also do the trick, though you have to know where the tip is and that it is actually working in the best place.
Sounding. Regarded as one of the most direct methods of prostate manipulation, urethral sounding consists of inserting a special toy, usually called a sounding rod, into the penis where it is used to stimulate the sensitive nerve endings inside the penis and through the prostate. This can be carried out in combination with anal dildos but does require more care, given the potential for damage that sounding can involve. Great care is needed here, and its probably best left to the experienced.
Electroejaculation. This is a procedure in which nerves are stimulated via an electric probe, which is inserted into the rectum adjacent to the prostate. The stimulus voltage tingles and stimulates nerves around the prostate, resulting in contraction of the pelvic muscles, lots of groaning, and ejaculation.
Both of these methods require specialist equipment and are not something for a novice to mess around with, but since this is a long game, play and variation are key to prevent it becoming a mechanical process that loses much of its fun element.
Prostate massaging is becoming more mainstream and just as a man must experiment to find a G-spot, so it takes practice to really uncover the P-spot, but if you do, your man will really thank you for it.