What is Chastity?
Before you get started on your adventure with chastity play, you’ll need to know two very important things first. What chastity is, and what a keyholder is. So, what are they? Let’s start with their definitions:
Chas•ti•ty [chas-ti-tee]:
- the state or practice of refraining from any and all sexual intercourse. Including or with exception to the person you are married to.
- personal integrity; purity in conduct and intention sought to protect threatened chastity.
Key•hol•der [ki-hole-dur]:
- person that holds the key to your device and controls your orgasms.
But, what about male chastity?
Male chastity is a very intimate form of sexual play where the one who’s in the chastity device, relinquishes his power to their keyholder – for any given amount of time. His power to arousal, erections, orgasms, and all other forms of sexual play – even just…touching himself. Leaving him no longer in control of his orgasms and other sexual urges.
Instead, the keyholder will be in control of his every orgasm – and the conqueror of his Thor’s Hammer. Since, we know all you boys are led around by your balls anyways – we might as well lock them up. So, how did all this get started? And how was this amazing form of play discovered?
The History of Male Chastity
In order to further understand what male chastity is, it helps to know about its origins. And the history of male chastity is long, and not always as pleasant – as it is today. Some may even make you choke on your cornflakes. As not all of the male chastity devices were very… “gentle” on your valuables, such as, spikes that wrap around your girth. Unless you’re into that sort of thing of course, and if that’s the case, more power to ya. However, it isn’t as old as you may think.
There’re lots of tales and references to it all throughout history – especially for female chastity. And until the first chastity device became a reality, they seemed to mainly be metaphors and comical references. Specifically, to the male fear that their wives would cheat on them with younger men – and vice versa.
While there’s no denying that chastity belts were made at some point. Especially since there are many of them on display across the world. There’s a high possibility the ones seen in museums may very well be forgeries or reproductions. Or at the very least, created much later than tradition says.
However, instead of being implemented in the middle ages… they were more likely created some point between the late eighteenth and early nineteenth century. And according to some experts, were more than likely created as a joke. Not to be taken or used seriously.
But this is where it evolved! The first male chastity device patented, in 1870, was created with the intention of anti-masturbation. That’s because in Western Medicine, during the 18th Century through the 1930s, it was widely regarded as harmful. As they believed masturbating would make you a “dribbling fool” – i.e. crazy and stupid.
Luckily enough, in the 1930s they realized masturbation doesn’t really cause mental health problems. And this opened up the road to even more ways to use chastity devices – that are a bit more… fun. Creating immense pleasure in the long-run, gaining the ultimate release through chastity play. Making it what it is today. So, you must be asking yourself?
Why Choose Chastity?
While male chastity may look like forcibly (and painfully) preventing an erection, it’s typically the opposite. Most male partners find the concept of male chastity alluring and stimulating. As a result, many people enjoy it as it can create great arousal. How you ask?
It’s pretty simple, men are accustomed to touching themselves multiple times – during any given day. Whether it’s to urinate, for pleasure, comfort, or whatever. They’re touching themselves. And when you deny a man something as simple as a touch? That is, and always has been, readily available for whatever their needs or desires? It arouses a heightened sense of longing and desire – where only his imagination is the limit.
It can become pretty… consuming when you make those fantasies, a reality. However, as with anything you’re making a decision on, you gotta know the benefits! So, what are they?
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The Benefits of Chastity
Whether your goal is to bring each other closer. To introduce more intimacy into the bedroom. Looking for something new to try. Or even something to reignite the spark between you. There are many benefits to chastity play. Through sex and/or orgasm denial, control by partner or dominatrix, and more. Such as:
➢ Better Orgasms & Increased Excitement
When a man masturbates routinely, his spitting cobra becomes desensitized. But, by taming that cobra into a caged beast? With a more sophisticated, and involved, scheduled release? Each touch will be intensified and climaxes noticeably more explosive. Creating an:
➢ Improved Sex Life & Stronger Relationship
Not only do his orgasms improve. He’ll also learn to control himself. Which will, in turn, help him prolong his release. As well as bring his partner more fireworks too. Plus, both the slave and his partner will learn more about themselves – and their partner’s preferences. Leaving…
➢ More Time, Energy, and Libido to Put Towards Other Things
Instead of all that time and sexual energy going towards watching porn and/or masturbating. He can harness that extra power and time he gains while having his tamed beast caged up and put it towards other things. Like helping out around the house. Or putting his focus on improving his work ethic – going for that promotion or expanding his business. Even towards the ultimate pleasure for him and his partner.
The sky will be the limit and the options limitless. Major league sports players don’t abstain from, and have rituals against, the big O before a big game for no reason. As the saying goes, “work hard, play hard”. So, how can chastity be used? And what types of chastity are there?
The Different Types of Chastity
In today’s day and age, it’s pretty easy to get caught up in the instant gratification culture that has become the norm. But, is it really worth it to get that short yet, sweet moment of release?
When you delay gratification of something, it becomes oh so much sweeter and juicier. Which is what chastity play is all about. Chastity is all about the psychology of it, and the tease to arousal and delayed gratification.
Most commonly, this type of play is between couples trying to help their partner fulfil a lifelong fantasy of theirs. And it is also used by strict BDSM couples for control and to further their kinky experience. It can even be used as a solo kink or you can have a professional dominatrix be your keyholder. Some types of male chastity play include:
➢ Couple’s Chastity
In a committed relationship? Interested in trying something new? Looking for something to spice up your sex play? Or maybe it’s your partner’s kink or fetish, and you want to help them complete their wildest fantasies? If you said yes to 2 or more of these questions, couple chastity could be the answer for you.
When couples are looking to get back the desire they felt in the early days. You know the one – when you can’t wait to have sex. And the sex wasn’t rushed but, lasted for hours and was savoured? A time when your partner was all that was on your mind, and you on theirs? When they reach that point, where they no longer have all that and want to heat things back up a bit. Many couples engage in chastity play as a means of getting all of that back.
On the other hand, sometimes, the choice is because the man has been… unfaithful. Or has been caught masturbating to internet porn – or even is a porn addict. He may choose chastity as a way to build that trust in the relationship back. By not only using it as a means to re-demonstrate his commitment. But, to reassure his partner and enhance their relationship as well. Which can be incredibly arousing for both partners. Especially since this is a precious oath for any man on its own.
The bottom’s sole focus will become pleasuring his Keyholder. Being much more attentive towards his partner’s needs. Trying to earn a release, without being distracted by his own selfish wants. He will go above and beyond. Just to show his true devotion, and prowess, to his partner. In his chase to reach carnal realms yet to be explored. In a tantalising game of sweet, delicious tease and denial. Leaving no doubt that chastity play results in sexual satisfaction that’s superior to any you’ve experienced before. After all, the couple that plays together – stays together. But, what if you’re a bit more… adventurous? Enter:
➢ BDSM Chastity
Most people that love playing the game of BDSM, haven’t yet tried chastity play. And BDSM chastity play is a real treat that we, here at The Bondage Locker, are more than excited to tell you about!
Not only is chastity a great tool for tease and denial. It makes an incredibly effective punishment and reward scheme in the BDSM game. Even if a dominant hasn’t ever fully engaged in chastity play… at some point, they’ve more than likely employed a “permission to cum?” policy. BDSM play is all about dominance and submission, and there’s no better way to control someone than by dictating when – and if, an orgasm will be granted. But, what’s the difference?
Chastity play gives the keyholder FULL control over their slave’s orgasms. Taking the concept just that much further. It’s the ultimate tool for submission, and power exchange. PLUS, it’s the perfect way to ensure that a scene plays out… exactly as it should. Because, the best way to keep a naughty slave from misbehaving – is to withhold the orgasm. It’s basically the ONLY way to guarantee that they’ll do exactly what they’re told.
One of the greatest things about incorporating chastity into your BDSM play – is how flexible it is. It can be a long-term engagement, adding an extra level of excitement. Where the slave shows their commitment to their Master or Mistress. Or simply enjoyed as part of a scene. With a dominant partner or a hired dominatrix.
No matter why you want to explore male chastity play, there is a chastity device for everyone. They come in many different shapes, sizes and forms. With so many to choose from, how do you know which is best for you?
The Different Types of Chastity Devices
Male Chastity Devices are typically divided into two main categories. And you’re when trying to figure out which one will be best for you, you’ll want to consider a few things. First things first being the type. Chastity cage, or a full-belt style? Secondly, the material. Steel, silicone, or plastic? Thirdly, the additional features. Let’s start with the types of chastity devices, and a few of the bonus features they can come with first:
➢ Chastity Cages
Most cage style chastity devices are simpler to use – making them great for beginners. Unless you get one with urethral tubes vs one without. They do make long-term play a bit easier, however. Especially for maintaining control when he needs to use the toilet. (If you find the urethral tube erotic enough for you? We suggest gently inserting with a sanitary lube after Vlad the Impaler is in the cage using the hole as a guide.)
Chastity cages are one of the more secure chastity device styles and come in a variety of options. From simple plastic and silicone cages to complex metal masterpieces of denial.
Most will also come with some type of back-ring, aka cock ring. Which will either be hinged or fixed. Some will even be made solely by the back rings – such as the Gates of Hell. Which incorporates a combination of a hinged ring, and steel fixed rings.
If you don’t know what a back ring is, it’s essentially like a cock ring. And is the piece that holds the balls and cock, securing the device in position once the lock is in place. So, in terms of how they work: the cage will go over the shaft, then the back ring secures around the meat and around the sack. Followed by securing the cage and the back ring together with the padlock.
No matter the style back ring you get, you want to make sure you get the right size. Reason being, male genitalia varies in size from one man to another. Not just in length either but, in circumference too. Plus, it’s super flexible and designed to change shape – growing and shrinking or otherwise.
So, if the ring is too big it can slide down – or even worse, fall off entirely. But, if it’s too small? Let’s just say there’s a colossal distinction between “blue balls” and actually having your balls turn blue. And that’s even if you can get the ring on. Plus, if you’re using a hinged ring? You risk more damage and pain from being pinched by the device.
It’s best to get a fit that feels tight enough to avoid slipping yet, loose enough to not cut off circulation. Which brings us to the next style of male chastity devices:
➢ Full Belt Style Chastity Devices
These handmade, and professionally finished, chastity devices can come featured without – or with, butt plugs. Depending on just how adventurous you are.
That being said, having your prostate teased by a butt plug? That can take that sexual intensity from chastity, and magnify it to greater heights than you’ve ever reached. Plus, the full belt style chastity devices are amazing for enacting out a scene, or BDSM play. May we recommend our Model T series chastity belts?
Chastity Belts are harder for a naughty slave to escape from, and look super sexy. But, how do you use them?
When he’s secured in the device, his Thor’s Hammer is forced between his legs with the L-shaped tube. Preventing him from getting a full erection. Slight discomfort may be felt as the blood flows to Mr. Happy in an attempt to create an erection. However, no pain should be felt.
Some will have a hole in the ass strap for defecation. While others will have a butt plug to… provide anal stimulation and take his pleasure to another dimension. (When using a chastity belt with a butt plug attachment it’s recommended to: put your legs in first, relax the muscles and insert the butt plug next, then put on the rest of the chastity device as normal.) Although in certain clothing types, they can be pretty noticeable.
This style chastity device is a bit more complex than chastity cages too. Making them a bit more for the experienced chastity players. However, they can be used by anyone up to the task of course.
Now that you’ve determined which style chastity device you would like – it’s time to determine the material. Out of steel, silicone, and plastic… which one should you choose?
➢ Steel Chastity Devices
While metal is 100% tantalising to the eye – and typically quite secure. Devices made from metal tend to be heavier and harder to get used to. There’s also the dilemma of posing a problem with airport security, or any other metal detector barrier to pass through. Then there’s:
➢ Silicone Chastity Devices
These can be some of the more comfortable options of chastity devices. As they can be pretty flexible and soft in comparison to their metal and plastic counterparts. However, they can come with lots of moving pieces and are not so simple. Which brings us to:
➢ Plastic Chastity Devices
Which are THE way to go when just starting out and great for beginners. Chastity devices made from plastic are typically very simple, easy to clean, and have minimal moving pieces.
The simple answer to it all, on which chastity device is best for you – is ultimately up to… well, you. What you can handle, what’s most comfortable, and what will help play out your fantasies the best.
Still got questions? Check out some of our most frequently asked questions:
FAQs About Chastity
Q: Is it true chastity makes sex better?
A: The simple answer is, yes! The saying “good things come to those who wait” exists for a reason. When you haven’t had a release? All of that testosterone, cum, and build up from hours and hours thinking about having an orgasm becomes an explosion of carnality. Pure, unadulterated, sensual gratification once your keyholder finally unlocks you resulting in the best sex of your life – for the rest of your life.
Q: Aren’t they heavy to wear and obtrusive?
A: Depending on the style and material of the chastity device you choose – it can be. That being said, nowhere near to the extent the original designs of chastity belts of the past. You know the ones, made from steel and iron and really not so comfy. But everyone has their kinks which is why here, at The Bondage Locker, we offer a wide variety of chastity devices. From traditional-style metal devices to our super simple, and comfortable, plastic chastity cages.
Q: Will being in chastity make you sexually frustrated?
A: No, if anything being in chastity will have the opposite effect. When you can masturbate whenever you want, whether it’s several times a day or just once a day – your orgasm is more of a flop than a major hit. In fact, many men notice the experience becomes less and less pleasurable over time. Resulting in it becoming more of an obligation in an almost mechanical and bleak way. Whereas chastity will cultivate an appreciation for your orgasms, and make you value them more. By helping you reclaim the power of your sexual experiences and giving you some control over your urges again.
Q: Is the new dynamic likely to put pressure on my relationship?
A: NO! Engaging in chastity can restore intimacy and trust between many couples. Particularly if there has been infidelity, or where the male frequently relies on porn and masturbation – instead of sex. A lot of men wish their partners would instigate the sexual play more often, or in general. Because if they’re constantly asking for sex? It can make them feel doubtful and self-conscious about his partner’s desire for him. A man gives his partner total control and ownership of his penis when wearing his chastity device. His partner will hold the key, both literally and metaphorically, creating an electric dynamic between the partners.
Q: What if I need to use the toilet and my keyholder isn’t around?
A: All chastity devices come with a way to allow urination without losing control. If the chastity device you have chosen doesn’t have a urethral tube they’ll come with a removable tip or a hole/slit to urinate from. And most full-belt style chastity devices will have a hole in the ass strap for defecation.
Q: What type of chastity device is best for a beginner?
A: A simple, easy to use, plastic chastity cage is what is most recommended for beginners. We recommend our ___________ chastity device.
Q: What how do I get the most out of Chastity play if they keyholder and I don’t live together?
A: Many people choose to take plenty of photographs to send to their Key Holder. This proves that they are following orders and are committed to their new way of life. In addition, they regularly engage in webcam sessions, phone calls, text communication and e-mail messaging. When temptation comes-a-knocking, it is crucial to be able to call on the Key Holder for the support! We don’t want premature ‘release’ unless absolutely necessary!
